Friday 1 January 2016

2016: sit. rep. for this blog

I've been really rubbish at writing new stuff recently. There's a few reasons for this, if we look back to November or so when my efforts here really died off:

  • I'm really, intrinsically, lazy. So for me to be bothered doing anything at all I don't have to do is a chore for me;
  • The CF2016 Pre-release Programme is running at the moment, so - periodically - my spare time is taken up testing CF2016 stuff;
  • I'm sick of CFML. I'm sick of Adobe's mishandling of it.
  • I'm sick of feeling so cautious about Lucee as a viable "thing": how long have we been waiting for RailoLucee 5 now?? What is this seemingly zero-planning Lucee lang thing, and where's it gone (perhaps "gone" is the best thing to have happened to it though)?
  • I'm sick of how useless most of the community is at... being a community. More recently I've also been pilloried for my efforts to "jolly things along" when it comes to ColdFusion and Adobe, so my attitude is shifting to "oh well fuck off then";
  • I don't know enough about PHP to write incisive stuff about it. And the mundane stuff I spend time learning (ie: mundane but still not documented on the web) isn't interesting, so I struggle to come up with an angle to make an article interesting to write, let along interesting to read. It's really more just embarrassing to me that I don't already know it.
  • Fallout 4 was released. It's also embarrassing to me that Steam reports I've been averaging 5h per day playing it since I bought it. Averaging. In that I manage a full-time job and sleep too. That's tragic. And awful. And something I'm working on to resolve (basically; not just sitting in front of this thing playing FO4 all day/evening).
  • Added to my usual and perpetual family "challenges" (this is a bit personal, but a number of readers of this thing know about these), there have also been a bunch more recently. This is just part of being part of a generation who are getting older, whilst at the same time the previous generation is balancing ever more precariously on this life's mortal coil.
To be honest, it's mostly cos I'd rather play FO4 than write crap here.

I do have a few articles in the pipeline, but they take about six hours each to get together (often not including the actual code and investigation), and I just can't be arsed.

I'm incredibly disillusioned with Adobe for reasons that I can't share here, but will be made apparent in Q1 or Q2 (god I hope it's Q2), and that has crushed my community spirit (CFML or otherwise). And I dunno where or if I fit into the PHP community. It's mostly impostor syndrome - I know this -  but on the occasions my day to day life as a programmer throws something up in front of me (which is what this blog is supposed to be about), I just think it's daft shit.

I'll get my shit-mojo sorted out before too long.



[I have updated this to tone down a comment I made about the Lucee community & volunteers, as it was unfair and mostly inaccurate. I apologise for the original wording]